One step at a time

One step at a time.

· Lifestyle-Inspiration

By Master Stylist Vicki Ogden-O’Fee

This week’s blog is dedicated to my very brave nephew Lochie O’Fee.

The meaning of the proverb one step/day at a time,

Slowly, carefully, and deliberately; without being careless or in a rush. It is entirely possible for this project to succeed—we just need to proceed one step at a time. Major life changes like this can fluster anyone, so just take everything one step at a time.

This could not be truer in these uncertain times, one thing I believe in life is that each day we wake is a new start and we should never give up on life’s dreams, goals, loves and pleasures. 

This week has proven this too me and my family in a way we never expected. Sunday 6th September my 11-year-old nephew Lochie was celebrating his birthday at home in Sydney, he came inside to my brother Todd and his wife Brooke and said “I have a headache”…fast forward and he is on the way to Sydney hospital in a helicopter having what we now know is a brain aneurysm. Monday 7th September (The day of his actual 12th birthday) Lochie is placed in a induced coma, having his skull drilled to release pressure, before surgery to relieve the aneurysm, during this time he was bought out of the coma just long enough to see his older brother, younger brother, mum and dad (in case he didn’t make it through surgery). The surgeons worked late into the night and we awoke on Tuesday morning to a message from my brother…” they have saved him, he is on the road to recovery” The surgeons have put stents (Coils) in Lochie’s brain and Tuesday afternoon he could see, speak, move his arms and legs and write on a black board. Lochie still has a long way to go and will be in ICU for at least another two weeks, but the proverb one step/day at a time could not be truer for us in the last 48 hours. So today as I write this, we are celebrating that young Lochie is on the road to recovery, yesterday we were praying he would live. I, and I know other people worry about things that are out of our control of which may never happen. Then something like this comes along that we have no control over, and we must go with it.

Lochie

This is Lochie, just a few weeks ago on holiday. He just loves his mullet hairstyle.

Here are some fundamentals that I have researched to live by for

 Those Who Want to Live a Positive Life!

Take every waking hour as it comes and do what you are supposed to do and complete what you are supposed to complete. Stop overanalysing or trying to predict and plan things too far. The only constant in life is change. Just live in the moment and do your best.

Be comfortable in your own skin.

The first step to becoming happy is to feel comfortable in your own skin. Everyone was born with a flaw. No one is perfect. Accept yourself with what you are born with whether it be your background, your looks, height, personality. You must accept yourself for who you are and love yourself.

be comfortable in your own skin

It is the number one happiness killer. Because if you are not comfortable in your own skin, this becomes your biggest concern that stays on the top of your mind everyday — it kills your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and the happiness that comes from within. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of all and if you cannot make peace with it, it will keep bothering your mind.

If you find it hard because other people discriminate or make judgements about you, distance yourself from people who are shallow and narrow-minded. You are better than that. Prove to them and to yourself that you are capable and talented in so many other ways. Surround yourself with people who value the same things as you and leave the people with bad attitudes behind. This is hard to do when you are feeling low but speaking from experience it feels good when you move on to a more positive place.


 Appreciate what you have and never compare yourself with others.

Appreciate what you have


You will never be truly happy if you keep looking outside and wish you have what you do not. The grass always seems to be greener on the other side but that does not mean it is greener. If you keep wishing, hoping, expecting for something else and do not feel happy with what you already have, you will always feel miserable and feel like something is missing in your life.

Worse if you keep comparing yourself to others, wishing your life was like theirs; your face and body were like theirs; your family was like theirs; your partner was like theirs, you will feel the jealousy burning within you. While comparing yourself to others in a healthy dose as to set yourself a benchmark of success or accomplishment can be motivating, doing so with jealousy burning within is not.

If you can live simply and appreciate what you have, acknowledge that everyone is different, and stop comparing yourself to others, you will experience joy and happiness in everyday life.


See the positive in every situation.

Positivity

You will always run into unfortunate situations in life that are outside of your control. You can choose to feel sad, annoyed, angry, or stressed about the situation or turn it around and focus on the positive. You can choose to be stuck in a bad situation or let go, move on, and start anew.

Learn from a failure or a bad experience and never repeat the same mistake. Every setback and bad situation in life teaches you something. Growth does not happen in comfort. Take it as an opportunity to train your mind to be stronger, more resilient, and more equipped to be able to deal with things life throws at you.


 Let go of your need to control.

Control makes you feel secure. But at the same time, with control you also lose freedom. Confusing isn’t it? When you try to control your life, situations, and sometimes others, you do so because you want to feel more secure.

Let go

However, when you feel more secure because you take control of it, you lose control of yourself and very likely of those you try to control. This is because you become dependent on the feeling of having control. And it can drive you crazy because things do not always go as planned. Trying to control things will not only drive other people away which will make you panic even more when that happens, but it also hinders you from achieving happiness from within.


 Drop the resentment within.

drop resentment

Most of the time you hold onto anger because you believe it would make the person, you are mad at upset and realize that they have done something wrong. But the fact is that you are hanging yourself up on something that is burning you within. When you are mad at someone, the pain is onto yourself more than it is onto the person you are mad at. When you hate someone, the fire is within your own mind.

No matter what one does to you — hurt you, look down on you, underestimate you, backstab you, abuse you, or cheat on you — when you hold the hatred, you hold the hurt. Only when you learn to let go, you let your soul free from the pain. No matter what it is that caused them to do certain things to you, the best thing you can do is to let go.

It will be hard to do if you have never done it before. But slowly, one day at a time, be patient, let it go, forgive those who have done you wrong, you will feel that each day you get stronger and more powerful.

If you are struggling to let go, start with meditation. Even meditation is hard because you need to control yourself not to think about anything while meditating — but that is the key! Being able to control one’s thoughts and focus and keep one’s mind at peace strengthens the mind’s muscles — this is the secret power of meditation.

The fire is only within you. The person you hate does not feel your hatred. Let it go. Let it go.


 Live in the moment.

Live in the moment

I believe that one of the reasons little kids and happy couples on dates are happy is because they live in the moment. They focus on what is happening in front of them and pay attention to the person they are with. When you live in the moment and do your best, you just feel happy. Why wouldn’t you? You do not worry about the future, neither do you feel sad about the past.

Take every waking hour as it comes and do what you are supposed to do and complete what you are supposed to complete. Stop overanalysing or trying to predict and plan things too far. The only constant in life is change. Just live in the moment and do your best.


Avoid overanalysing.

This is what a lot of us do — overanalysing things from relationships to career and finances. Overanalysing is dwelling on the thought about something, thinking about it over and over, trying to dig deeper and deeper, because somehow you believe it could end up giving you a way out. When in doubt, overanalysing somehow gives us comfort. Most of the time, we never actually get an answer but a set of worries.

To avoid overanalysing, we need to be more outspoken with people whom we have doubts about, take things as they come, and listen closely to our intuition.

Avoid over analysing

 Stop worrying about the future.

Stop worrying

Many of us worry. We worry about our future — about our career, health, living, finances, and about the people we love. We worry because we are scared. However, worrying does not make anything better unless we stop worrying and start taking actions towards our goals. If you are worried about your health when you get older, then you should start eating healthy and exercising regularly. If you are worried about your finances, then you should start saving up for the rainy days. If you are worried about your kids, then encourage them to take actions to help you ease your worries.

Remember that worrying about your loved ones does not actually make them better. It only affects your health and your blood pressure. Your loved ones will need to take actions themselves. All you can do is to encourage them and help them move towards the right direction.


Have an open mind.

Have an open mind

Having a narrow mind can hurt you more than you think because naturally we as humans do not like being disapproved of. We do not like feeling like we are wrong because it makes us feel rejected and unaccepted.

So if you don’t have an open mind which means you stand firmly on your beliefs and ideas and oppose others who think otherwise, you will feel extremely agitated and uncomfortable when people with different beliefs and ideas are presented in front of you.

On the other hand, if you have an open mind, you will not mind hearing about the different beliefs. In fact, you would embrace the difference, want to understand it better, and become adaptable and flexible in your approach. You would not have to fight with yourself in accepting others. You would feel at ease with differences and feel positive about change.

Vicki and Family

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